I know many of us have less than perfect relationships with our own mothers – they are not who we wish they were, who we wanted them to be, or we are not who they wish we were or wanted us to be. But, for many, the relationship we have with our mother is like none other. And for many Lesbian and Gay people, coming out to Mom is a moment that we’ll always remember, for better or for worse.

I came out to my mom the day after I returned from my first trip to the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. I was wearing my rainbow beads, my goddess t-shirt, and other Lesbo-wear from Michigan and if it wasn’t obvious to her upon seeing me, I vowed that I would have to just come right out and say something. After all, I had just had the most amazing week ever, and I had just met the woman of my dreams, the love of my life and the person I would soon move in with, get commitment-ceremonied to, and create a life with! I was so excited and so happy about this - I had to tell mom right now!

I was in the kitchen with my mom when my sister walked in, looked at me, and said, (something like) “don’t those beads mean you’re a Lesbian?” I said, “yes.” And that was that.

My mom looked shocked, and then asked me to pass her the ketchup from the fridge. We did not say anything more about it after that, not for a while. It wasn’t hard, she wasn’t upset. I just think she did not expect it at the time, in that way. When I went back to college I emailed and got emails from my love about 20 times a day, and spoke on the phone for hours each night. I was so happy with my new found Festie-inspired Lesbian-freedom, that I hardly noticed my mom wasn’t calling as much as she used to.

I called her up and asked her about this, and we had a long talk about me, my life, and about my partner. After that and to this day, she is fine. She loves my partner, approves of our life choices, and is happy to count my partner and I as her family. There’s no PFLAG in the small town where she lives, but if there were, I’m sure she’d love to be a member. She always brings me into conversations at work when people are making homophobic comments, seeks out LGBT people in her neighborhood to befriend and keeps me informed about everything she sees or hears about LGBT people.

It’s actually kind of cute, and I let her share about which character on the Amazing Race or Big Brother is Gay or Lesbian this season, and I take her updates about the cast of the L-Word appearing on the View seriously, because I know that she is telling me this because she loves me, and she supports who I am.

Thanks Mom, and Happy Mother’s Day!