by Harry Hanson

One of the faults of our generation is that we have brought about the death of “dating.” Dating used to be an objective term: Bob and Adam go on dates together, and therefore they are dating.  Much more common these days are couples merely tied together by the term, rather than the action: “Hey, do you want to go out with me?” “Yes, I do.” Even though there is no actual “going out” involved.  

    After this initial fallacious dialogue, the situation rarely improves. Instead of going out and seeing a movie, or having dinner, or any other pre-meditated activity which constitutes a date, most couples prefer to stay in and do those things. After all, it’s a lot easier to hook up on the couch in your basement than in a movie theater.

    Of course, this is not to invalidate these relationships in any way. Obviously, the two people have an interest in one another and would enjoy spending time with one another, but let’s not misconstrue the situation- they aren’t dating. They’re in a relationship built upon something else. Now, anyone who isn’t in high school is probably going to tell you that high school dating is a complete joke anyway, so it isn’t as though this phenomenon will bring about the end of love as we know it, but the limited amount of social experience could be incapacitating as an adult.

This behavior appears to be an epidemic; it’s everywhere. As if Facebook, MySpace, and text messaging hadn’t already sucked all of the passion out of romance and authenticity out of communication, it’s sad to think that when there is actual interpersonal dialogue it’s so misguided.

    Interestingly, if anyone is immune to this mode of conduct I believe it would be the gays. My theory is this: given that the gay population within most high schools is fairly tiny, gays are more likely to branch out their dating network to other schools. And unless you’ve been friends prior to your relationship, there must be some trial period of getting to know one another-- dates! --before a relationship actually forms. These dates then tend to continue as the relationship progresses, facilitated by the fact that the individuals don’t see each other every day.

    Any relationship advice I’ve ever received has not advocated mixing work and play- which is to say that dating a coworker or going into business with a significant other is not advisable. And that’s in regards to the adult world of dating, which is technically more “mature” than high school dating. So what ever gave anyone the notion that dating someone from the same school was a good idea? Logic certainly seems to support the contrary.

    Though more coincidentally than intentionally, I’ve adhered to this style of dating throughout my high school career. Personally, I must say that I feel it’s made these past four years much more enjoyable. Not only do I not really have to care what I look like going to school every day, but I also don’t have to worry about unwanted encounters with exes, or any gossip about whom I’ve dated/hooked up with. And it's fun to actually be able to talk about your day to someone once it’s over, rather than go through it all with him/her. Beyond that, I feel like it’s made my relationships more rewarding. I’ve gotten to know my boyfriends well because we’ve actually taken the time to do so, rather than just absorb each other’s personality components via osmosis.

     Even if gay relationships in high school are comparatively few and far between, the dynamics of the dating world offers them more potential for success.